I have people tell me all the time 'oh my gosh your hair is gorgeous don't ever dye it' or 'people pay so much money to have your hair color'; so why is it that the one feature that is complimented the most about my appearance makes me the most self conscious?
I'll tell you why, it's because out of all the comments about my ginger hair, the negative ones are the only ones that stick in my memory. A few months ago I was sitting talking with a friend, chatting about our crappy love lives and how I tried for this guy and got shot down, when he said
'do you think its because you have red hair that guys don't ask you out?'
and of course it was the one question that I have always wondered about, so I responded
'well do you think so?'
(so that I could get a guys perspective on it) and of course I got the response I was expecting:
'yeah'.
I walked home that night in tears because all I could think about was that the reason I don't go on many dates, why I've never had a boyfriend, and why I've never gotten flowers from a secret admirer, is because my red hair makes me unattractive.
I called my mom, (bawling of course) and told her I was dying my hair either brunette or blonde and that I hated being a ginger and I was never going to get a boy with it. So I came home and dyed the ends of it blonder (I could never go full blonde cause I would look like a freak) and what do you know, nothing has changed. I had to come to the realization that yes there will be boys who will turn me down because of my flaming red hair, and there will always be people who say that I'm not as desirable because of it, but through all of that- it's part of who I am. And if you don't like that then you can take your party somewhere else.
If being a redhead has given me one thing it's definitely thick skin. I've always been self conscious of it and always will be, but because of that I've learned so much. I learned to see past peoples flaws and get to know them for who they are and appreciate them for that. I've learned to become a listener and to hear peoples problems about being self conscious- because everyone needs a boost and someone to tell them they're amazing exactly the way they are. I've learned to be a comforter because I've been pushed down before and I've learned to get up with scraped knees and continue on. I've learned to try and shove out the negative from my mind and to focus on the positives of who I am, because not to toot my own horn but I think I'm pretty fun! Being the ginger I am, though it's a love/hate relationship, has made me a better person and a better friend and I cant change that. It's forced me to accept who I am and to be proud of it.
Besides, some boy will come around someday and think its awesome.
And he'll be awesome.
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