{what I haven't told you}

Mostly that title was to catch your attention. But now that I have it I might as well update you on the past, present, and future events of the all so interesting life of me.

After finals murdered all happiness, I journeyed to one of my favorite states, Arizona of course, and regained my happiness and caught up with old friends. The nice thing about old friends is they are reliable (obviously since you've stayed friends for so long), you never run out of things to talk about cause you haven't seen them in a million years (I saw them last summer, it just feels like a million years), and if you're close enough- it's as if you were never apart! They also save your behind when plans fall through and you're bored, so basically all the time. Thank goodness for Chelsea Jackson!

I've managed to stay at home for 4 days and I'm planning on staying for a record breaking 2 weeks. (Although a friend did just call and suggest a weekend road trip to Vegas.....) Lucky me, I've been thrown back into the loop of chores and lawn work andd errands andddd etc., but I figure they feed me, clothe me, house me, and send me on fun trips....might as well comply.

Speaking of fun trips, I make the lovely 13 hour flight to Switzerland in 12 days!!!! If you can't tell by the exclamation points, I'm excited out of my mind. I'm traveling with a study abroad group through USU (go aggies) and seeing all the possible sights that one can see in all 23 days of class. And when I say we're traveling all 23 days, I mean we travel ALL 23 days. Just to give you a small insight into what we'll be doing, some of the hikes we will be

 [1.] the base of the Iger mountain

 [2.] Up to the Matterhorn (yes the real one, not the one at Disneyland)

[3.] Hiking/snowshoeing through a pass to a hospice and staying with the monks for 3 days

 [4.] two pilgrimages one of which is 18 miles long

[5.] A bunch of random hikes in the Alps.

Not to mention we spend a whole day touring a chocolate factory and get to taste EVERY CHOCOLATE WE DESIRE. For. Free. Yes I can only pack 45 pounds for 7 weeks; yes I will bring back 10 pounds of chocolate to share. I get 12 credits for having the time of my life. After my 23 of class days are up, some friends and I are spending an extra week in Switzerland, then off to Rome for 4 days, then to Paris for 5, then flying out of Belgium back to the US of A.

So for now I must be patient and wait till my adventure begins. But lets be honest, every day is an adventure with me.

 

{this is obviously Chelsea, besties for 12 years (insert fist pump)}

 

 

{Welcome home Jill. Lets throw you in the pool}

 

 

{Obviously me skiing in the Alps}

 

 

{Found this photo at grandmas'. Couldn't resist, had to share for the benefit of others}

 

 

{why my ginger-ness has made me better}

 

 

I have people tell me all the time 'oh my gosh your hair is gorgeous don't ever dye it' or 'people pay so much money to have your hair color'; so why is it that the one feature that is complimented the most about my appearance makes me the most self conscious?

I'll tell you why, it's because out of all the comments about my ginger hair, the negative ones are the only ones that stick in my memory. A few months ago I was sitting talking with a friend, chatting about our crappy love lives and how I tried for this guy and got shot down, when he said

 'do you think its because you have red hair that guys don't ask you out?'

 and of course it was the one question that I have always wondered about, so I responded

 'well do you think so?'

 (so that I could get a guys perspective on it) and of course I got the response I was expecting:

 'yeah'.

 I walked home that night in tears because all I could think about was that the reason I don't go on many dates, why I've never had a boyfriend, and why I've never gotten flowers from a secret admirer, is because my red hair makes me unattractive.

 I called my mom, (bawling of course) and told her I was dying my hair either brunette or blonde and that I hated being a ginger and I was never going to get a boy with it. So I came home and dyed the ends of it blonder (I could never go full blonde cause I would look like a freak) and what do you know, nothing has changed. I had to come to the realization that yes there will be boys who will turn me down because of my flaming red hair, and there will always be people who say that I'm not as desirable because of it, but through all of that- it's part of who I am. And if you don't like that then you can take your party somewhere else.

If being a redhead has given me one thing it's definitely thick skin. I've always been self conscious of it and always will be, but because of that I've learned so much. I learned to see past peoples flaws and get to know them for who they are and appreciate them for that. I've learned to become a listener and to hear peoples problems about being self conscious- because everyone needs a boost and someone to tell them they're amazing exactly the way they are. I've learned to be a comforter because I've been pushed down before and I've learned to get up with scraped knees and continue on. I've learned to try and shove out the negative from my mind and to focus on the positives of who I am, because not to toot my own horn but I think I'm pretty fun! Being the ginger I am, though it's a love/hate relationship, has made me a better person and a better friend and I cant change that. It's forced me to accept who I am and to be proud of it.

 Besides, some boy will come around someday and think its awesome.

 And he'll be awesome.

 

ANNE TOLLER PHOTOGRAPHY

 

{the Bruggeman clan weekend}

They say home is where the heart is, and I say that's one hundred percent true. I went home for the weekend to spend Easter with my family, (and I brought along my roommate Mackenzie because no one should be alone on Easter.... or any holiday in that case) and we had a ball! Instead of giving you a long detailed description of how fun this past weekend was, I'll just show you. For those of you who haven't spent much time with the Bruggeman clan, we're a pretty fun group of humans when we get together; throw a holiday in there and its a party!

 

{FRIDAY}

Jeff started a new sport- lacrosse, and is

killing it! Talk about a boy with

many talents.

 

My Allie Cat <3

 

Please observe his "lax flow" hair that

has the ability to stand on its own.

I LOVE IT!!!

 

 

{SATURDAY}

 

Breakfast and Easter egg hunt and grandma B's

house! (ps that's Mackenzie) 

 

 Baby Blaire running around frantically

finding eggs. Yes I'm 11.5 years older

than her.

 

 

{SUNDAY}

 

Classic church back scratches putting

Blaire to sleep

 

 

Meet baby of the year:

ROXY HALL

(held by my hot mom)

 

Great grandmas BEAUTIFUL china

 

After Easter dinner show.... everyone tried it,

even the grandparents

 

Every time I leave this happens, I wouldn't ask for it any other way. I love my family so much and they mean the world to me. No matter what is going on in my life, they love and support me, and all I can do is try and live my life to make them proud.

 

Of course here's a short Easter message that gave me the chills and

reminded me that I can be with the ones I love, not just in this life time, but for ETERNITY.

 I'm so grateful that I don't have to say the words

'Till death do us part'

 

\http://easter.mormon.org/

 

 

 

{MAJOR problems}

 

You know, I never considered that having so many things I love to be a problem. I love painting, I love fashion, I LOVE dresses, I love food, I love humans, I love boys, I love dogs, I love the outdoors, you get the point. If I water down my "loves" into one general category I would most likely fall into the artsy world. So that conclusion should make choosing a major much easier. NOT! So far in the two years that I have spent at college I have changed my major 4 times.
First week of school I was determined to be an interior designer; put my creativity to work by making magnificent rooms, fabulous enough to knock your socks off when you walked in. After a class exploring that major I wasn't really feeling it, mostly because the teacher told us it was a dying profession and that pinterest was the murder.
I then moved my way into nursing because hey, nursing is a great steady job, pays well, you save lives, and my whole family is medical. I was psyched about that for approximately a week and then something inside of me died when I put on some scrubs. Also, I sometimes gag when I watch shows about surgery.
Next on the list was becoming a graphic designer because I figured there's always jobs with graphic designing, I have a tendency to be creative and make things look good, I'm a semi good painter, how hard can it be doing it on the computer? I took a couple classes during the summer for it and came to an abrupt halt when I got so frustrated trying to create spongebob on the computer that I started to cry.
Starting this last semester off fresh I decided that journalism was going to be my passion because I love to write, I love magazines, I would literally die if I got to interview celebrities, and it still involves creativity. Now I'm at my semesters end and I'm stuck thinking that I'm going to be working at some local newspaper writing about how Chippy the dog lost his leg to a rabid squirrel. No- if I were to stick to journalism I would want to be writing for glamour telling everyone about how fantastic fashion week in Milan was. The only problem with that lifestyle is that it doesn't fit with the one where I have a husband who treats me like a queen and buys me flowers and rubs my feet and we have adorable children who think I'm the coolest mom in the world (because that's just destiny).
Now, moving into my junior year I'm exploring the option of becoming a business major because all I've ever wanted was to own my own bridal store, design dresses, and sell gowns that make girls so happy they cry.

I think that I'm struggling with making a solid decision because I'm afraid that I'm going to get stuck in a job that I don't love. I want to be passionate about my job and not just another person in the business, but someone who is really amazing at it! So the struggle of choosing a major that doesn't give me problems carries on. I just wish I could look into the future and see what I end up doing so that I can quit drowning and start swimming towards my dream job that'll not only make me happy but is also compatible with my dream family. Wish me luck!

{why I didn't go on my mission}

For those of you who know me well, you'll know that at one point last year I had a mission call to Columbus, Ohio! As you can see I'm currently not in Columbus, Ohio so I figured I might as well address the subject head on and explain to the people who still think I'm waiting to go to the MTC (yes I still get asked when I'm leaving- I respond last November) the reasons I decided to not serve my mission.
I believe WHOLE HEARTEDLY that missions are an extremely wonderful excerpt from the everyday life, that give individuals 2 years to mature, endure hardships, and come closer to the lord in a way that is hard to understand until you've experienced it. I admire anyone and everyone who goes because no matter what they say to comfort you, missions are hard. There is a reason missionaries return home and experience a culture shock back into reality; they are quite literally the lords hands in action, doing the amazing work of the true gospel.
Now to the part where I tell you what happened with me. I received my call in September and started preparing to go through the temple and leave for the MTC.  I went through the process of studying the scriptures, praying, meeting with my bishop, and really trying to better myself  and feel prepared to make sacred covenants with our heavenly father. As the time came closer and closer people would ask when I was going to go through and every single time I would get the same sick feeling in my gut. I talked to my parents, my bishop, my friends, even concerned friends of parents, and most of all to god in prayer to try and get that reassurance that I was doing the right thing by going. That feeling of 'yes you are suppose to serve a mission' never came back and I knew in my heart that I wasn't suppose to go. People every single day would tell me that its just nerves and that as soon as I go through the temple and spend time out in the mission it would go away and that it was wrong of me to not go. I myself am a people pleaser, so I became very self conscience for awhile, thinking that if I didn't go people would look at me differently and think that I'm not a worthy person anymore. I didn't want family and friends to think any less of me, especially the people closest to me. I didn't want to upset anyone, but I knew that if I went I would upset myself. I had a choice to make- go and please everyone else and most likely end up coming home, or stay and ease my heart sick feeling and hope that everyone would understand. I chose the later and braced myself for a world of disappointment and heart ache, but was surprised when I was greeted with understanding and peoples ability to see the maturity in my choice and my ability to follow what the spirit was telling me.
Through the whole process I learned so much about the gospel, about myself, and about listening to the promptings you are given even when people disagree with them. I believe with every bone in my body that I made the right choice FOR ME and I've been reassured constantly by heavenly father. I KNOW this church is true, and I know that god has a divine, unique plan for each individual. Someday I'll go through the temple, not to please others, not for a mission, but with a boy who holds the priesthood, who loves me, and is worthy to take me there. And I can't wait.

{an awkward intro to college}

HOLA friends! I started a blog because I think that all of you are extremely interested about what is going on in my life.... NOT- I started one because lets be honest, college life is stressful, fun, exciting, and eventful. Within the next 5 years so much is bound to change in any college student's life. I figured, if these years are so important why not tell everyone exactly what it's like from the perspective of a person who's currently going through it so that those of you who are in the same stages as I am can realize that you're not the only ones riding the struggle bus, and those of you who are not, can get a good laugh.
I'm currently in my sophomore year at Utah State University and a proud Aggie. In order to quickly catch you up on what my freshman year at college was like I'll tell you a story that sets the stage pretty well. FIRST DAY OF COLLEGE- There is a huge hill at USU called old main hill where plenty of activities occur, one of which was a giant slippin slide to help freshman feel less homesick and to have more of the typical fun college experience. I wore a tankini to be safe since it was a slippin slide and we didn't want any sliding of the top to happen. First round- great, no injuries, fun time, lets do it again. Second round- mad spinning, jammed finger, giant pile up, several injuries. I stood up quickly, running off the tarp to get out of the way of another person sliding at an accelerated rate down the tarp when I heard people laughing and whooping all around me. In my hurry to get out of the way I had neglected to notice that my top (my safe tankini top) had come undone in the pile up and was half off. I WAS MORTIFIED! People clear at the top of the slide were laughing! I literally sprinted to the dorms, called my mom and cried to her about flashing everyone the first day of college. Good thing my mom (aka my best friend) has a good sense of humor cause she laughed and then nursed my wounded pride. About 5 minutes later I laughed it off and said "well now when people ask what my most embarrassing moment has been I'll have an answer". Enough said, my freshman year was not my most shining amazing year, but hey I passed and somehow made it to today.
Don't worry, more stories like the above are to come. Its college.